You're completely useless in the revolution.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
