Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
