Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
