so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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