Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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