I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
