one two three fourrrrnication!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
