I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
