I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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