I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
