ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
