Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
