There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
