Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
