Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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