I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The Olympian is in my bed
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