i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
