We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I want is dick and wine.
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