I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
