We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
