just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
