My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
