i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
