Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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