You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
