Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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