all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
