Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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