he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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