I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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