apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
