I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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