We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
