You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
