There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
