I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
