hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
