So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
