This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
