Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
