I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
