And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
