Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
