the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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