those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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