sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize