just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
