i don't like sucking hair
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i drank out of a bidet.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
