I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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