some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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