arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
