Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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