I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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